Everyone has flaws. One of mine is that I have always held on to the past and worried about the future and what could happen. A smart person would understand that when you do that you miss out on what's important.
I'm a smart person but I've been a slow learner. Since retiring I have been working on that little flaw in my personality. It's taking some work because, as people who know me can confirm, I can be very stubborn. On the plus side, once I make up my mind to do something I do it.
So I've made up my mind to focus on today, the here and now.
To recognize the daily blessings that are sometimes missed because of holding on to the past or worry about tomorrow.
This may sound kind of corny to some, but when I woke Easter morning my first thought was "This is the day the Lord has made, be happy and rejoice".
I said a "thank you" for the simple fact that I woke to a new day, grateful for the ability to experience whatever the day may bring. I enjoyed the simple pleasure of morning coffee with my husband as we watched the news and chatted about this and that.
As I began preparations for Easter dinner I ignored aching joints, realizing that despite those aches and pains, I was still able to move about. Arthritis is a bitch but it could be worse. A couple of Advil and it was on to the next task.
I consciously felt the pleasure of making preparations to celebrate with my family. Anticipating their arrival and the chaos that comes with a home full of people who care about each other. A blessing that some don't experience.
Our eldest son and his family were the first to stop in for a visit before traveling to join our daughter-in-law's family for Easter dinner. They brought me a beautiful Easter lily, an Easter bread and ricotta pie. Years ago I had tried making this pie without success. Thankfully, my eldest daughter-in-law makes a delicious ricotta pie. In turn I surprised them with candy that I made for my adult kids and Easter bags I put together for the grandchildren with their $2.00 bill. Years ago my mother started the tradition of giving her grandchildren a $2.00 bill at Easter and I have continued that tradition with my grandchildren. I also surprised my daughter-in-law with two containers of pipi salad, something my own mother-in-law used to make. Her pleased smile made me happy and I enjoyed that moment.
My eldest grandson was my taste tester for the mashed potatoes since I've been unable to taste much due to a slight medical issue. He gave me the thumbs up and asked that I save him any leftovers. I happened to have one of his Mom's empty containers so I filled it with mashed potatoes and handed it to him. That got me another big smile. Something so simple but it lightened my heart and I count that as a blessing.
Our middle and youngest sons and their families joined us for dinner. It's easier to set up buffet style so everyone can help themselves, including the grandkids. No pressures about what you eat or don't eat. Being able to share that meal together is another blessing I'm grateful for. I love to hear the sounds of their voices as converations flow. I enjoy listening to them as they tease each other and the resulting laughter. The weather co-operated and the kids were able to play outside and enjoy their own time together.
Later, after everyone had gone home, I spent time cleaning the kitchen and getting dishes done. As strange as it may sound, washing dishes relaxes me. As I stood at the sink I thought about the day and all it's little pleasures and blessings.
I remembered watching our youngest grandson eating cabbage salad. No biggie you'd think but it reminded me of last Christmas and how he ended up taking the bowl off the kitchen counter, climbing into a chair in the living room and eating the cabbage salad directly from the bowl. I watched him eat his Easter dinner and saw how he dipped his dinner roll and ham into the cabbage salad realizing he thought it was a dip. It's a vegetable but I'm not tellin him.
I remembered the look on my granddaughter's face as I handed her her "Easter toast" as one of my grandsons called it. She thinks Mammy makes the best toast.
I smiled as I remembered grandson #3 asking me if a lamp emits light or sucks dark which I learned later had something to do with a meme. His Dad took exception to what he was saying and asked him if he wanted to do laps around the back field. I calmly advised my son that since my grandson was talking to me he could say or ask what ever he wanted; it was our conversation. Dad just smiled at his sons' teasing comments about Dad's Mom getting after him.
While washing a roasting pan I found my self chuckling as I remembered a moment with grandson #5. His Mom had made a cake for dessert and it wasn't until after the cake was served that I remembered I had made a cherry cheese pie. My youngest son doesn't care for cake so I always make this pie for holiday meals. As I was cutting the pie grandson #5, who loves cheese cake, was standing next to me.
"Would you like a piece" I asked him.
"I've already had a piece of cake and my Dad would say no" he answered while looking at the pie.
"I didn't ask what your Dad would say, I asked what you wanted". The look on his face said he wanted a piece of pie so I cut a small piece for him.
"Come into the living room" I said after handing him his pie, "I'll take care of your Dad". He wasn't taking any chances, however, and ate his pie standing at the kitchen counter. Sorry Dad, Grandma's house, Grandma's rules.
I've come to realize how freeing it is to be able to enjoy the here and now. To not dwell on the past or worry about what tomorrow may bring. It's like a weight has been lifted that you weren't aware you were carrying. Certainly there are times when I slip into old habits and my mind starts to wander into the "what if" territory of tomorrow or the regrets and sorrow of the past. I won't let myself go there anymore because I've felt the simple enjoyment of today and I like it. I've talked with Hubby about this and he's offered me a free kick in the ass whenever necessary.
It's easy to find your blessings each and every day when you take the time to look for them.
I'm eagerly looking for mine, are you?
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